​Let’s get real for a second: parenting is hard. There’s no script, no step-by-step manual—just you, your kid(s), and the beautiful chaos of figuring it all out. If you’ve ever walked away from a hard parenting moment thinking “That didn’t go how I hoped…”, you’re not alone. The truth is, we all hit bumps. And those "mistakes" are actually invitations to grow. Today, I’m sharing three common parenting pitfalls I see all the time (and have totally done myself) — plus some gentle ways to shift course without guilt or shame.

1. Over-Explaining or Over-Correcting
When our kids are having a hard time, most of us think that talking to them or lecturing them will help the behaviors change; however, the opposite is true. When our child’s “emotional brain” takes over (think Fight, Flight or Freeze), their “thinking brain” goes offline. Dr. Dan Seigel calls this “Flipping Your Lid”. Because our child can’t access the thinking part of their brains they are unable to comprehend what we are trying to lecture them on. Instead, use few words - “No hurts.” “Be gentle and kind.” “Use your words.” You can then revisit the situation calmly, later, when their thinking brain is back online.

2. Forgetting to Repair
We all have moments we wish we could redo. What matters most is repair. A sincere “I’m sorry for how I spoke earlier—I was frustrated, and I want to do better,” is powerful. It models humility and shows them that relationships are resilient.
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3. Focusing Only on Behavior, Not the Need
Underneath most “bad” behavior is an unmet need—connection, rest, attention, food, autonomy. Before reacting, ask yourself: What’s really going on here? All behavior is communication, and when we meet the need, the behavior often shifts on its own. It takes a mindshift to realize that meeting our kids’ needs is not the same as rewarding bad behavior.

You don’t need to be a perfect parent. You just need to be a growing one. Every moment you choose curiosity over control, connection over correction—you’re building something strong and lasting. Keep going. You’re doing beautiful, important work.

Parenting is a journey filled with highs and lows, and sometimes, small shifts in our daily habits can create the biggest impact. This month, I invite you to take on these five simple, achievable challenges designed to build connection, patience, and joy in your home. Each challenge is meant to be realistic and doable, even on busy days. Try them out and see what works best for your family!

Connection Challenge
Goal: Spend 10 minutes of focused, uninterrupted time daily with each child. (If 10 minutes feels like a lot, start with 5. The goal is quality, not quantity!)

Kids crave our attention, but in the chaos of daily life, it’s easy to let distractions take over. These 10 minutes can strengthen your bond and help your child feel seen, heard, and valued. Put your phone away, and be fully present. Let your child choose the activity, like reading, chatting, playing, or snuggling.
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Patience Challenge
Goal: Pause and take a deep breath before responding in a frustrating moment.

When we react quickly out of frustration, we often say things we don’t mean or respond in ways we later regret. Taking a breath helps us regulate our emotions and respond thoughtfully. There are lots of breathing techniques out there. Here are a couple of examples:

1. Yo-Yo Breathing: Inhale when the yo-yo (your hand) comes up, and exhale when the yo-yo (your hand) goes down. Repeat.
2. Starfish Breathing: Inhale and open your hand wide (so it looks like a starfish), then exhale as your hand closes into a fist. Repeat.
3. Triangle Breathing: Inhale deeply for three seconds, exhale for three, and hold for three. Repeat.

If you do lose your patience, repair it with a simple “I got frustrated, but I love you. Let’s try that again.”

Listening Challenge
Goal: Ask your child one open-ended question daily and really listen to their response. (If your child isn’t talkative, start by sharing something about your own day first.)

Kids (especially older ones) will open up more when they feel truly heard. This builds trust and keeps communication open. Try asking some questions, like:

1. “What was the best part of your day?”
2. “What’s something you’ve been thinking about lately?”
3. “If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?”
   
   

Gratitude Challenge
Goal: End each day by sharing one thing you appreciate about your child.

When kids feel valued, they develop confidence and security. This also shifts our focus toward the positives in parenting. Try to be specific. Here are some examples to get you started: 

1. “I loved how you helped your sibling today.”
2. “You worked really hard on your homework—I’m proud of you.”
3. “You made me smile when you told that funny joke!”

Sometimes this can be really challenging as a parent, especially if we’ve had a rough day, rough week, or even a rough month with our kids, but doing this can help begin to shift the way we think over time. If this is where you’re at, that’s okay. Maybe it’s overwhelming to think about sharing them aloud. If your child can read, try writing them on a post-it and hanging them on the mirror or by their bed where they’ll see it. Another idea would be to keep a running list in a notebook that you can read to your child once during the week when there aren’t big meltdowns happening. Then begin to challenge yourself to share 2 times a week or 4 times a week. If you are really struggling, please reach out; I would be honored to talk through your situation.

Play Challenge
Goal: Join your child’s play without leading, correcting, or teaching. Set a timer for 10–15 minutes if you struggle with play. Even a short time makes a big impact.
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Play is how kids connect with the world. When we enter their world without an agenda, it strengthens our bond and helps them feel truly seen. Let your child pick the activity—Legos, dolls, pretend play, puzzles, or sports. Follow their lead!  

Parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about showing up with love, patience, and intention. Try one (or all!) of these challenges this month, and see what happens! I’d love to hear your experience—let me know which one resonated most with you. You’ve got this!

​We all have tough days—those moments when the stress of work, errands, and life spills over, leaving little room for meaningful connection with our kids. But here’s the good news: reconnecting doesn’t have to take hours. Just a few intentional minutes can make all the difference.

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​Here are 5 simple ways to rebuild that bond:

1. Create a "High-Low" Ritual
   At dinner or bedtime, ask: “What was the best part of your day? What was the toughest part?” Share your answers too. This helps kids feel heard and valued.
2. Hug It Out
   Physical touch is powerful. Place your hand on the back of their neck and count to 30. A long hug, combined with skin-on-skin (SOS) will help with regulation and bring you both back to calm.
3. Play Their Way
   Let your child lead a quick game or activity they love. Even 10 minutes of Lego, a card game, or dancing in the living room can reset the mood.
4. Give a Compliment
   Notice something specific they did that day and praise it. For example, “I saw how you helped your sister with her homework—that was so kind of you;" or "Great job remembering to clear your dishes after breakfast! That was a huge help to me and our family."
5. End on a Positive Note
   At bedtime, share one thing you love about them. It’s a small gesture that leaves a big impression.
   
   

It’s okay to acknowledge your own tough day. We're all human and tough days are a part of life. Saying, “I had a hard day, but spending time with you makes it better,” models emotional honesty and shows your kids they’re a priority. Even after the hardest days, connection is always possible. Start small, and watch the difference it makes. 

Want more ideas for connecting with your kids? Follow me on Instagram or Facebook and check out "Make-It-Count Mondays."