Trauma Changes us

Trauma can be a sensitive topic, but it’s one we need to talk about because of how it can affect the children in our care. There are many causes of trauma; some may be more familiar to us than others. Abuse or neglect may have been the catalyst that brought children into our homes. Witnessing or being involved in a car accident or a natural disaster can be extremely traumatic for children and their felt sense of safety. Medical trauma may occur for children with chronic health problems, those with serious illnesses or those who have experienced invasive procedures. Separation and loss affect each child differently - this could be due to adoption, placement in foster care, incarceration of a parent, a divorce, or the death of a significant person or pet in a child’s life. There are other things that cause trauma, but regardless of the cause, we must recognize that a child can be affected emotionally, behaviorally and physically; and that trauma can impact a child’s social, emotional and cognitive development. Despite these impacts, there are a number of ways we can help those in our care heal from the trauma they’ve experienced.

Emotional, physical and behavioral symptoms will vary depending on the child’s age, development and temperament. They may experience anxiety, fear, depression, sadness, or irritability. Behaviorally, they may withdraw, become aggressive or defiant, or regress in development. (I met a child once who was fully toilet-trained and who was in a car crash. The trauma caused him to regress in toilet training, which resulted in numerous accidents for the next 6 months.) Physical symptoms of trauma may be easier for us to recognize, such as: stomachaches, headaches, sleeping difficulties and nightmares, or changes in appetite. Our children may have difficulty concentrating, feeling safe, trusting other people, forming meaningful relationships, or regulating their emotions. 

Sometimes when our children are acting out, it’s difficult to pause in the moment and try to identify the need behind the behavior. Oftentimes we can overlook trauma that may have occurred in their lives because it was a while ago and we think they are “over it”; it happened when they were infants; or it wasn’t “that bad”. But all behavior is a language, and we need to be detectives to try to understand why our children are exhibiting different behaviors. If you are aware of trauma that has happened, you may need to seek professional help where a therapist can use play therapy or trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy to work through the trauma that occurred. We need to educate ourselves about how to give trauma-informed care. Look to surround your child with supportive adults that will provide safety and nurture as she works through her trauma. Finally, we need to help our children learn healthy ways to cope with stress and build resilience. We need to give them a sense of control over their lives, and help them build positive self-esteem. 

​Sometimes it is difficult for children to talk about the trauma that has happened, maybe because they were too young and don’t have words to express it, or maybe because it’s just too painful to verbalize. The brain holds onto experiences. Traumas and strong emotions connected to painful experiences can be stored in the brain and affect children in a variety of ways. Brainspotting can be used to process and heal childhood traumas, PTSD, relational traumas, and strong emotions connected to specific events. It is a focused treatment method to help the brain process and heal. As a brainspotting practitioner, I would love to help you or your child begin the healing process. The first step is to reach out. :)