Do you dread, or avoid playing games with your kid because of the meltdown or tantrum that you know will inevitably happen? Is your kid a "bad sport"? You are not alone! Take heart. We can help our kids learn the skills to be both a gracious winner and accept losing with dignity. Read on to keep the fun in the game.
Stealing and lying
Not many behaviors get parents angry and worried like having their kids steal or lie.
We went through a season where one of our young children was found with several items that we knew weren’t purchased by us... What is going on here!? We couldn’t figure it out. The child had everything needed and more, why steal and lie about it?
Many children try stealing once or twice out of temptation for something they really want. If you have a child with early life trauma or ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) stealing and lying aren’t uncommon. Most parents want to know what they can do about it. But actually the better question is “what is the root cause of it?”
Kids steal and lie for some reason. Time to put your detective hat on and work with your child to figure out what’s going on!
What more help with tricky behaviors? Email me
“Good- bye! We’re leaving you”
Many (maybe even most) parents have pulled out this little trick to motivate a slow, uncooperative or distracted child to follow.
Why do we do it? Because it works! It gets a little one hustling behind us.
But, it plays off of our child’s fear of being abandoned, lost and unprotected. Controlling another person by fear is a form of bullying.
It can be so frustrating when our kids don’t listen but our relationship with them is the key to all success, including cooperation
Don’t chip away at your relationship with your kid by using fear to control them. It may get results in that moment but in the long run it will backfire.
Here are some things to try instead
1. Slow down, remember kids can’t do what adults can do. Plan your day with the youngest kids in mind.
2. Try understanding what your child needs. This may be as simple as asking “hey honey, what do you need right now? How can I help you?” Maybe it’s a snack, a rest, a hug, a piggie back ride…
3. Use fun and imagination. Push her “robot buttons” on her back for extra energy! Find his “Spidey superhero speed dial” and turn it on. Pretend you’re the train engineer and your kid is the caboose.
No need to kick yourself for the old school parenting techniques you’ve used… but isn’t it exciting that we can learn new skills and impact future generations with more secure relationships!
Need more tips or a deeper dive into managing challenges with your children? Reach out and get more support.