 Welcome back to Wednesday Wisdom at 8! 🔥 You know what's interesting about this bonfire? It needs fuel to keep burning. Remove the fuel, and eventually the fire goes out. Your child's meltdowns work the same way. Here's the hard truth: Sometimes we accidentally ADD fuel to their fire without even realizing it. When we: Match their intensity with our own big emotions Keep talking and explaining when they're already escalated Issue threats or consequences in the heat of the moment Ask questions they can't answer when dysregulated Try to logic our way through their emotional storm We're throwing logs on the fire. But here's the good news - you can learn to REMOVE the fuel instead. What does that look like? Lower your voice instead of raising it Use fewer words, not more. Get physically calm so their nervous system can mirror yours. Give space instead of hovering. Wait for the calm to talk, teach, or problem-solve. The meltdown may still happen - but it won't rage as long or as hot when you stop feeding it. This is one of the strategies I teach in Frazzled to Joyful - learning to recognize when WE'RE the fuel and what to do instead. What's one way you've accidentally added fuel to a meltdown? No judgment here - we've all done it! See you next Wednesday at 8!
0 Comments
 I’m sure we can all picture a time when something happened that caused our bodies to go straight into Fight or Flight. Maybe it was seeing a snake slither across the hiking path right in front of you, another car cutting you off in traffic, or a sound in your house at night that puts you on high alert. I would also venture to guess that you can recall a time (or two!) when your child went into Fight or Flight, as well. Maybe screen time ended and your child hit you when you put the iPad away; or maybe he was playing outside, saw a bee and ran straight inside and slammed the door. Different situations can cause different responses in us as parents and in our children.
Do you have a child or know a child who is quick to anger or expresses their anger in challenging ways? Raising a child who is often on the emotional edge of "losing it" can make parents and caregivers feel like they are walking on egg shells. This leads to chronic stress in the home for parents, siblings and the child struggling with their emotions.
Have you ever felt like as soon as you get a handle on something in parenting...the game changes and you're back to trying to figure it out? It's a part of the parenting journey and for me, it's happened over and over again.
I remember feeling like that when my kids were little and I would finally get a grasp on nap times and bedtimes...only to have my kids grow and change and what worked before didn't seem to work again. How about trying to motivate a kid? *A sticker chart? Nope... those only worked for a few days, or maybe a a few weeks. *Taking away their favorite things... hmmm, sure fire way to get a meltdown started. *Hitting my frustration tolerance and raising my voice? No good, that leaves me and my child feeling bad. Of course we could talk about addressing challenging behaviors... Maybe you're finding your tools aren't working as well as they used to. Maybe what works for your friend's kids, or your sister's kids just doesn't seem to work with your unique child. Regardless of the age or season our kids are in, we can become more confident leaders in our homes. Here are a few things to think about: |
AuthorDana Parisi Archives
February 2026
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed