Ah, summer. The season of sunshine, popsicles, sprinklers, and freedom. No early wake-ups for school. No lunch-packing marathons. Just wide-open days to enjoy our kids, make memories, and soak in all the magic. But if we’re being honest… that’s not the full picture, is it?

​Behind the smiling social media posts and sunny family outings, many parents feel something else creeping in: anxiety, overwhelm, and dread. Here’s what summer really looks like for many caregivers:

• Constant sibling arguments that sound like a broken record
• Endless snack requests (didn’t they just eat?)
• A complete lack of routine that leads to dysregulated kids
• Screen time guilt, activity planning pressure, and sensory overload
• The crushing weight of being “fun parent,” referee, chef, chauffeur, and lifeguard—all at once
  
  

Sound familiar? If you're already feeling anxious about the unstructured days ahead—or guilty for not looking forward to every moment—please hear this: You are not alone. You are not doing anything wrong. And you are not a bad parent for feeling this way.

Summer removes structure, and for many kids (and adults), that predictability is what helps regulate emotions and behavior. So yes—challenging behaviors often increase. Yes—siblings get on each other’s nerves. Yes—you will hear the words “I’m bored” 300 times in a single afternoon.

And while summer can be fun, it can also be exhausting. Especially when you're carrying the emotional load for everyone in your home. So what can you do?

Take a Pause—On Purpose
You don’t need a weekend away or a big “self-care” plan. Start small. Take one mindful pause each day. Ask yourself: What is one thing I can do today that fills my cup, even a little bit?
​

• Sit on the porch with your coffee before anyone wakes up
• Take 10 deep breaths in the bathroom with the door locked
• Say yes to help when it’s offered—or ask for it
• Put on music that lifts your moodText a friend who gets it
• Lower the bar on what “good parenting” looks like today
  
  

You can’t pour from an empty cup. And summer has a way of draining it fast.
​
Give Yourself Permission…

• To say no to extra playdates
• To prioritize connection over productivity
• To let go of perfect routines
• To not be the entertainer, every single minute
• To create tiny pockets of joy that are just for you
  
  

Summer doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be real. So if your days look messy, loud, or full of emotion—that’s okay. You’re showing up. You’re loving your kids. You’re doing your best. That’s more than enough.

​When I think about summer, I tend to think about the fun activities I can do with the kids, the classes or lessons they will have, and the joys of warm weather and sunshine. My picture of the perfect summer gets stifled by the sibling rivalry and conflict that somehow sneak up on me every June. 

Maybe your kids have been on summer vacation for a month or maybe they just got out last week; whatever the case, it’s all but guaranteed that your children will struggle to get along sometime over the next three months, and typically sooner rather than later. Let’s just pause for a second - this is completely normal! 

I’m sure we can all picture a time when something happened that caused our bodies to go straight into Fight or Flight. Maybe it was seeing a snake slither across the hiking path right in front of you, another car cutting you off in traffic, or a sound in your house at night that puts you on high alert. I would also venture to guess that you can recall a time (or two!) when your child went into Fight or Flight, as well. Maybe screen time ended and your child hit you when you put the iPad away; or maybe he was playing outside, saw a bee and ran straight inside and slammed the door. Different situations can cause different responses in us as parents and in our children. ​