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 Spring break and Easter Break are coming up and whether you travel or have a stay-cation, here are a few ideas to make those breaks a big success for your family. One of my parenting goals for 2023 is to be mindful of changing my job title from "Mom the Manager" to "Mom the Consultant" for my oldest child. At 17 years old and a junior in high-school, the reality that my son is almost legally an adult is hitting me.
My son deals with ADHD (and is very open with sharing that with others). As a result of weaknesses in certain executive functioning skills, over the years I've become accustomed to operating sort of like his "manager". He struggled with time management, so I helped keep him on track. He forgot things, so I doubled checked on them and reminded him. He got distracted easily, so I adjusted things to help with attention. He procrastinated on big projects, so I helped him break them down. and so on, and so on... All of these things had their time and place. But now, his skills are improving. His time management, active memory, attention and task initiation are getting better. I need to adjust my role from being his "manager", the one who makes sure it all gets done right, and on time... to being there as a "consultant". As a consultant I can still be present for him, but I also need to step back and allow him to take full ownership. Maybe that sounds easy to you, but it's taking lots of mindfulness for me to change roles. Of course, it's easy when I think things are going well, and he's "managing" effectively. It's much much harder when I feel like his use (or misuse) of time is leading towards unpleasant results for him. If you have an older child, and feel like you might want to move into the role of "consultant", rather than "manager" here are a few things that are helping me. |
AuthorDana Parisi Archives
November 2023
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