Just Keep Swimming...

​“You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby.”  -- Jim Gaffigan
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Can you relate? Maybe not with having 5 kids, but do you feel at times you’re barely keeping your head above water when it comes to this parenting thing? Yesterday was “Swim a Lap Day”. All of my children have been on the swim team, and I’ve seen kids swim hundreds of laps over and over and over. One night at practice, a little guy was learning to swim on his back. The coach kept telling him, “Point your feet!” He pointed them straight up to the ceiling, smiled, and hardly moved.

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We can find ourselves in a similar situation parenting our kids. When I was in my most difficult season of parenting, I tried using the tools my parents had used, things friends had suggested or what I had heard at seminars. Even though none of them were “bad” suggestions, it turned out I was just pointing my feet towards the ceiling. At a point when it felt like I was drowning, I reached out to a parent coach for help.

I don’t know about you, but the Butterfly Stroke has always baffled me. It’s as though someone said, “Let’s try to get to the other end of the pool in the most convoluted way possible as fast as possible.” When you watch younger swimmers try to learn this, they literally look like they are drowning and flailing. A couple of years go by and they look a little more natural. Middle and high school arrive, and they excel at it. Over time, they went from pointing their feet towards the ceiling to pointing them behind them. Partnering with a parent coach changed my perspective and the way I parented. It wasn’t overnight; it was gradual, just like those kids learning the Butterfly Stroke. I struggled at times to keep my emotions in check, or to build in extra time in my scheduling to account for meltdowns that happened. But over time, as I practiced and had someone to learn from, staying in the green zone came a little more naturally. Making sure I was prepared with food and water in the car to boost their blood sugar and hydrate their bodies was more routine. And now, quite a few years out, the tools and techniques I learned from my parent coach are second-nature.
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If you’re barely keeping your head above water, pointing your feet at the ceiling, or flailing around trying to learn this “parenting” thing, take a deep breath and exhale. If you need a break today or just need a good laugh, look up Jim Gaffigan. He’s a witty comedian and may provide just enough of a break from reality for you to catch your breath for a few minutes. Maybe you’ve been thinking about needing outside help for a while now, but just haven’t done it. Or maybe reading this brought it to mind for the first time. Whatever the situation is, if there’s any way that I can help, please reach out; I’d be honored to walk alongside you. In the meantime, please remember, you are just where you’re supposed to be. You are the right person for the job, the best parent to your child. Just keep swimming.

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