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Is you child a "bad sport"?

3/7/2022

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Do you dread or avoid playing games with your kid because you know it will inevitably end in a meltdown?  Is your kid a “bad sport” when it comes to playing games?  Well, take heart!  You are not alone.  Read on to get three things you can do right now to help your keep the fun in the game!  

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If you have a kid that can’t handle losing a game you know how quickly the fun comes to an end.  Maybe a loss results in your child storming off, throwing the game pieces, yelling or swiping the cards to the ground.  Or maybe your child is a poor winner, and makes the other kids feel terrible.   Do you know what many parents do about this challenge?  
NOTHING!  We avoid playing games because it’s miserable. And, while that approach is able to avoid the struggle in the moment, it also avoids the teaching opportunity.  Instead, we can help our kids learn to be gracious winners and accept losses with dignity.  Here are three things to try.
  1.  Plan ahead:  Before playing a simple game with your child try asking a question.  “I’d love to play Go-Fish with you.  Part of the game is asking for cards the other person has.  I wonder how you’ll feel if I ask for a card that you have?”  This gets your kid thinking ahead.
  2. Add in solutions:  “Hmmm, I wonder how I’LL feel if YOU ask me for a card I have.  I might feel frustrated.  Hmmm, I think when that happens I’ll take two big breaths (demonstrate) and say “darn, you got my starfish!”  Then if I still feel bad, maybe I’ll ask you for a hug.”  Whether or not your child participates in sharing possible solutions, he/she is learning from your strategies.
  3. Add something silly: When a game ends, someone has won and the others have… not won (lost).  Emotions can be high.  My family started ending each game with something silly.  We all cross our arms, then hold hands with the person on either side of us, and shake hands up and down while saying “good game, good game, good game”.  This always gets people smiling and making friendly eye contact.  It keeps the focus on fun, and off winning and losing.  Try it out and let me know if it works for your family!

    If you are in a season on struggle with you child, reach out to me.  A free S.O.S (Save Our Sanity) Coaching Consult might be your next step.  Have hope!  There is growth in your future.  


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    Dana Parisi

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