COMMON PARENTING MISTAKES...AND HOW TO SHIFT WITH LOVE

​Let’s get real for a second: parenting is hard. There’s no script, no step-by-step manual—just you, your kid(s), and the beautiful chaos of figuring it all out. If you’ve ever walked away from a hard parenting moment thinking “That didn’t go how I hoped…”, you’re not alone. The truth is, we all hit bumps. And those "mistakes" are actually invitations to grow. Today, I’m sharing three common parenting pitfalls I see all the time (and have totally done myself) — plus some gentle ways to shift course without guilt or shame.

1. Over-Explaining or Over-Correcting
When our kids are having a hard time, most of us think that talking to them or lecturing them will help the behaviors change; however, the opposite is true. When our child’s “emotional brain” takes over (think Fight, Flight or Freeze), their “thinking brain” goes offline. Dr. Dan Seigel calls this “Flipping Your Lid”. Because our child can’t access the thinking part of their brains they are unable to comprehend what we are trying to lecture them on. Instead, use few words - “No hurts.” “Be gentle and kind.” “Use your words.” You can then revisit the situation calmly, later, when their thinking brain is back online.

2. Forgetting to Repair
We all have moments we wish we could redo. What matters most is repair. A sincere “I’m sorry for how I spoke earlier—I was frustrated, and I want to do better,” is powerful. It models humility and shows them that relationships are resilient.
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3. Focusing Only on Behavior, Not the Need
Underneath most “bad” behavior is an unmet need—connection, rest, attention, food, autonomy. Before reacting, ask yourself: What’s really going on here? All behavior is communication, and when we meet the need, the behavior often shifts on its own. It takes a mindshift to realize that meeting our kids’ needs is not the same as rewarding bad behavior.

You don’t need to be a perfect parent. You just need to be a growing one. Every moment you choose curiosity over control, connection over correction—you’re building something strong and lasting. Keep going. You’re doing beautiful, important work.

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